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    33,691 results
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    “‘Prepping with Patriot Mom’ tests a lot better than ‘Gardening with Gail
    “It’s such a nice day, I thought we could do this interrogation outside
    “I quack-quacked here, I quack-quacked there . . . I mean, I pretty much quack-quacked everywhere. Do you mind if I take my break
    “He’s still struggling with the piano, but he was potty trained a full year younger than Mozart
    “Any ideas on how to convince the public that we’re cute
    “Not bad, for art
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    “I never carry cash—it\'s too easy to spend on people who don\'t carry cash
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    “My apartment may be small, but my cheese selection is massive
    “What do you mean you’re going to recap the last session in case I missed it
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    “I can\'t find my phone
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    “You think they know something we don’t
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    Trump Talks Through his Hat
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    “Now, if you want to really get serious, we\'ll curse his sponges and towels with eternal mold
    “I mean, if I can’t trust him not to watch episodes before I do, then how can I trust him with anything
    “It’ll be a hearse
    “Sure, some days you wish you had more stability. But then the sun hits the trash can just right, and you find a mostly full container of chicken lo mein, and you think, Wow. This is living
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    “Notice how its quack seems to follow you around the room
    “I see you’ve had your hair cut—just when it was starting to look nice
    “Careful—that’s going to be in a museum one day
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    “Bachelor number three, I love museums. When exactly was the last time you were in one
    “So, tell me what music you like, and make it quick because I really want to spend the next forty minutes telling you what music I like
    “Working out is easier than cancelling my membership
    “I think I like us better as a group chat
    “The way you\'re trying to eat the chips quietly is far more annoying than just eating them
    “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down our frisbee
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    “No one’s leaving until we can get them to agree on who to blame for this
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    “Ever wonder what our lives would be like if we’d never abducted earthlings
    “The crisis is lifelong. It just took me until midlife to be able to afford it
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    “Look, the geese are skipping town before the election results
    “Happy? Yeah, sure, I guess I’m as happy as something with zero locomotion and no discernible features or extremities can be
    “Don’t worry—if we miss the curtain we’ll just fumble our way to our seats while noisily complaining about the unreliability of the subway
    “Try not to fill up on bread
    “You seem nice, but between work, sleep, and the eight hours a day mysteriously lost to my phone, I just don’t have time to date
    “I can\'t tell if it\'s still in there or not
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    33,691 results
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